Tuesday, August 6, 2013

IT HAPPENED! Here's the story.

Look at us! Look what we did!

We knew we were going to get engaged. And Tom knew that it was going to happen pretty soon. But last week, we realized our house hunt had moved much faster than we anticipated and it was feeling a little out of order to be legally bound to each other via real estate before we were officially bound to each other by love. So, Tom started looking for rings in earnest. But Anna didn’t know, so she was like, “when are we going to look for rings!?” So Tom, abandoning any hope of being surprising, was like “I already started – look at the bookmarks on my web browser!” We looked and didn’t find anything quite right online, so we started ring shopping in person. After a couple of awkward interactions in small tents at the Uptown Art Fair, we checked in a few vintage shops along Lyndale.

We ended up finding the ring (which is a moonstone) at Belle Weather. Tom got it and then said "THIS NEVER HAPPENED" and ran away and put it in his trunk. Anna wasn't sure what was going to happen with the ring or when it was going to happen. That afternoon we spent the day going to Fringe shows. We went home at night and Anna was sitting at her computer when Tom casually said, “Let’s go on a walk”. Anna said, “Isn’t it getting kind of dark?” Then Tom said, much less casually, “Let’s GO ON A WALK!” Anna patted Tom down to check if his pockets were extra bulky...but they weren’t. Still, he was WAY too adamant about this extremely important night-walk for something fishy not to be going on.

As we were walking towards the lake by our house, we were holding hands and Tom’s hand was super clammy (he has sweaty hands even when he’s not proposing) so Anna wiped her hand on the back of his shirt and felt some sort of large package inside the back of his belt, so she knew what was up but Tom was like, "SHHHHH DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT". We walked around the lake as the sun set, having hilariously stilted “casual” conversation to try to pretend like we were just “out on a walk”. We started to grow increasingly creeped out because of a bat that swooped us twice and not very much lighting around the lake. But Tom found a beautiful clearing in the path where we could see the very last of the sun setting behind the Minneapolis skyline, and handed Anna his phone which was playing her favorite song, and he got down on one knee and said sweet things such as how he wanted to bear all of Anna's children.

They could hear people approaching on the pedestrian path which made Anna feel awkward so she got down on one knee too and Tom said some more sweet things and eventually he asked “will you marry me?” Anna said “yes, will you marry me?” Tom said yes too. He then presented the ring we had gotten that morning, but also a backup gigantic plastic flower ring and a ring pop covered in ring box stuffing. He figured he’d propose that night and had made other “placeholder” arrangements in case they didn’t find the right ring. Word to the wise – never put a ring pop in a ring box, it’ll just get gross.

Afterwards, we were sitting in the grass and Anna felt something rub her back, then something rub her side, and it turns out that it was a huge FERAL CAT rubbing up on Anna. She started screaming and Tom shoed it away and then we realized it was really dark and that we might get mugged and that a wild animal just rubbed itself on us, so we got the hell out of there.


Monday, February 11, 2013

Hawaii Roundup!

Here's what you do when you're in Hawaii. You eat, go to the beach, surf a little, go on some tours, and go to bed early. And that's pretty much what we did. But if you want EXTREME detail, read on!

Above: ramen, Diamond Head, beach buddies, Diamond Head, beach ready, beach umbrella, Diamond Head, Diamond Head, shave ice, my magazine ink sticking to my leg, first mai tai, also first mai tai, our surf boards, beach faces, and view from Diamond Head.

Below: Wallaby depressed at home, Tom's beautiful flower, Anna's fruit plate, Manoa falls, Manoa falls, a rainbow, a delicious drink and dessert, the sunset, ingenius umbrella foundation, morning calm cruise, Tom who met a dolphin, a palm tree, us on our kayaking trip, Tom with his kayak, Anna with her kayak.

Friday: We flew to Hawaii! Had a layover in Seattle.

Sat: Slept in until 8:00 (which felt like noon our time), then we walked to the beach. We grabbed breakfast at Starbucks on the way. Tom had a mocha and breakfast sandwich, Anna had a  power pack! Then we found the beach, beached for a while, then rented surf boards. We surfed until Anna was sufficiently burned, then ate a delicious lunch buffet at Shore Bird, right on the beach. Also enjoyed our first mai tais. Then we went back to the hotel to plan our daily adventures with Leng Leng, the friendly concierge. Then we walked to the international market. Tom had korean bbq and shave ice, I had mint chocolate chip ice cream for dinner. Then we watched an episode of the Wire and fell asleep.

Sunday: Woke up at 5:30 am, hiked diamond head, ate brunch at the steak house near our hotel. Then Anna took a 3 hour nap while Tom read Candygirl. Then we went back to the beach. Tom surfed and Anna beached with the help of her new sun umbrella. Then we had dinner at an Irish pub. Tom had a salad and chili and Anna had a Hawaiin club sandwich. Then we watched an episode of the Wire and fell asleep.

Mon: We were picked up at 7:30 am for an 8-hour kayaking adventure with snorkeling! Then we went home and had an amazing ramen dinner (top left picture). Tom napped after that and Anna read in a big chair by a pool of fish, then we went back to the international market. Tom then went shopping while I had a lady party with myself in the hotel room watching Conan and eating raspberry M&M's. Then we watched an episode of the Wire and fell asleep.

Tues: We were picked up at 6:40 am for one of our FAVORITE parts of the trip - a morning dolphin watching and snorkeling cruise! We saw whales and dolphins and swam with fish and sea turtles. Then we went back home and took a nap, then Tom went to gym and Anna went to beach to watch sunset and have a strawberry vanilla Italian cream soda and green tea macaroon. Then we walked around, then ate dinner at Duke's. Tom had mango BBQ baby back ribs Anna had a burger. Then we watched an episode of the Wire and fell asleep.

Wed: Went hiking in the pouring rainforest at Manoa Falls, and due to a glitch, had our own personal tour guide. We ate at an awesome coffee shop run by Hike Hawaii or whatever tour company. Tom ate a napa chicken/pesto panini and I ate Italian panini with salami and mozzarella and we split an acai bowl with mango, banana and coconut milk. Then we went to the beach for the last time, then flew home!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Disaster at Walgreens.

by Anna

When you're sick, it's the little things that make you feel better. A root beer float, America's Funniest Home Videos on Netflix, your cat on your lap, and that's right, Cool Touch Kleenexes.

After I had my first meeting at work today, I went on a voyage to a nearby Walgreens to retrieve some of those coveted, sweet, miraculous, cold tissues (which are so incredible they don't even make sense) and I started walking around the store thinking about other things that I needed while I was there. I considered grabbing a basket to put my things in, but quickly decided that no, I wasn't the type of person that needed a basket to shop at a drugstore. Instead I piled my arms high with sweet mint gum, orange juice, two large boxes of kleenex, and ear plugs for my boyfriend who is secretly an old man and would need hearing protection at the show my band was to have later that night. 

My arms were fairly full, so I walked up to the cashier and waited in line. A young female employee opened up a new line and asked for my purchases, and I loaded them up on the counter. I started to feel a tickle in the back of my throat, so I let out a cough. But one slight cough didn't make the tickle go away, so I let out two or three more. By then, the tickle grew to an unbearable itch and burn, so I started coughing over and over, and instead of breathing in between each cough, I gagged in between each, as if I was about to vomit all over the counter. Tears streamed from my eyes down to my chin, mucus spilled from my nose onto my upper lip, and drool slowly slid out the corners of my mouth as I tried to clean up my excess liquids with my sleeve. All my sleeve did was push my excretions around on my face, so as the cashier was STILL RINGING UP MY FIVE ITEMS, I tore open my box of kleenex and started using them right there at the counter.

As I wondered whether people in the store were noticing my complete mess of situation and the inhumane noises coming out of my face, the cashier leaned in to say something to me. I figured she was going to ask me if I was ok, or if I needed to excuse myself to go vomit, snot, or hyperventilate outside. But nope. She asked me if I had a Walgreens card. And you know what? I did. I hurled my Walgreens card and credit card at her while continuing to cough and gag, and she slowly scanned my Walgreens card but gave me back my credit card so I could run it through the machine myself. Because, of course, that would take an extra amount of time, which would be great for my coughing. 

She put my things in a bag, and I got out of there just as my cough juice/phlegm/vomit was filling my mouth. I crossed the street in my dress boots and work outfit, spitting the debris from my mouth on the sidewalk and coughed all the way into my skyway, past the banks, stores, offices and restaurants inside the skyway, and all the way to my desk at work, where the coughing finally, inexplicably stopped.

I learned today that the epicenter of this flu season is allegedly Minnesota. I want to challenge that fact, and tell you that not only is the center of this flu mess in Minnesota, but it's in the very Walgreens where I acquired Cool Touch Kleenexes today. STEER CLEAR, PEOPLE!

Monday, December 31, 2012

Hoverboard MVP - Live recording of Tom at the December Rockstar Storytellers show

Tom chronicles his brief, lousy athletic "career" - from NFL dreams to the realities of getting last place in every 8th grade track meet. Recorded live at Bryant Lake Bowl as part of the Rockstar Storytellers December 2012 show.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

An Unsolicited Diagnosis

An Unsolicited Diagnosis.
by: Tom Reed
A tiny play based on real events. 

Setting: A college cafeteria tray return line.  

TOM: Tallish, lanky, really into Chuck Palahniuk's novel Choke and definitely NOT a licensed medical professional.
ANONYMOUS GIRL (AG): Girl unknown to Tom, wearing a tank top that reveals a mole on her upper back. 
TOM’S FRIEND: A friend of Tom's, has social skills.  

(Lights up. TOM and TOM’S FRIEND are behind AG in a slowly advancing tray return line. AG is completely unaware of TOM’s presence. TOM notices an unusual mole on AG’s back. During voice over, TOM makes thinking faces.)  

 Holy crap! That mole on her back. It’s probably cancer. In Choke, by Chuck Palahniuk, which I am currently obsessed with, I JUST learned a pneumonic device to identify likely-cancerous moles. (Tom leans in to get a better look at AG’s mole. AG remains oblivious.) Let’s see. A.B.C.D. A - asymmetrical. Yep. B - border irregularity. Uh huh. C - Colors, unusual colors. Yes(!) D - diameter bigger than a pencil eraser. YES. Oh my god. That mole is CANCER! IT IS MY DUTY AS A HUMAN BEING TO WARN THIS STRANGER OF HER IMPENDING, BUT PREVENTABLE DEATH!  

Um. (TOM points at the mole, his index finger uncomfortably close to AG’s back.) You have a weird mole on your back. (a beat.) You should probably get it checked out. (awkward silence as AG’s face contorts into a combination of disgust and confusion.) It... might be cancer.  

(AG frantically jams her tray into the tray return.)  

Uhhh... ok...?

(AG walks away quickly, glancing over her shoulder as though she is being followed.)  

Dude. What the hell?

(TOM grins, satisfied. Then, in unison.) 

TOM (VOICE OVER)                      TOM'S FRIEND
                 I am a hero.                              You're an idiot.               

(Lights down.)

Open Wide! with The Dirty Curls

Our good friend Emily had a major jaw surgery a few weeks ago and can only eat liquid food. So she decided to interview her friends about the food that they eat, and have them sample the various liquids she has to inject into her mouth via syringe. The Dirty Curls stopped by her house this weekend for a visit.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Don't make me mad or I will Swift you.

My friend Josh canceled a planning meeting we had. I cleared my whole night for him, and he ditched me for -- that's right --"Batman Live". So to shame him, and to celebrate ME, I wrote this song. I can now safely say Josh has 100% been made sorry for his actions.

Can Tom pull off this blazer?

One time Tom and I were in a vintage shop and he bought this sweet blazer.
Then after 6 months of not wearing it, we finally found a perhaps appropriate occasion
for it, but we weren't sure whether he tucks in his shirt, whether he should wear jeans
with it, what kind of shoes he should wear, etc. Does this combo work? The college
girls at the gig said he looked "dapper", but maybe they were just being nice...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Dino song!

Tom and I sang this song at a dinosaur show last weekend. He wore a full dinosaur outfit and played a mean bell solo. I played the uke and tried not to cough into the microphone. Memories!
Here is the blog we were referring to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/satellitewall/sets/72157629202048901/